We are all going through a rough time at the moment with Covid-19 being present in our lives. We are living in a world that has unexpectedly transformed and is filled with uncertainty and unknowns. Is our world ever going to get back to some sort of normality again?

Each person is affected in some shape or form by the power that the pandemic has over us, whether that is physically, mentally, emotionally, or financially. So how are some people coping?

Alcohol is readily available. It can relax and calm us after a hard day. It can make spending time with family and friends more enjoyable, and can make socialising much easier. But when does a person’s alcohol use become problematic? Has your use of alcohol increased since the lockdown? Has your drinking started earlier in the day since lockdown?

Alcohol habits in lockdown

Perhaps you’ve noticed that you’ve been drinking more than other people. You may even feel uncomfortable or troubled by how much you drink, but try to hide this or deny it. You may attempt to drink less, but end up drunk when you didn’t intend to. You might think about alcohol more frequently, even when you’re not drinking. You may even begin to isolate or withdraw more and lockdown can make this easier to do. Has your employment or relationships started to suffer due to your alcohol use? If your alcohol use is affecting your quality of life then this is an indicator that you may need to ask for help.

From a cultural norm to a problem

Alcohol is a drug like any other but not all people see it this way, especially within our culture where alcohol is viewed as a normal and socially acceptable pastime. For many people this is okay, but not for the problematic drinker as this permits a minimisation and a normalising of their alcohol use and can delay or prevent someone from seeking help.

Alcohol misuse and other addictions are increasing in our society and communities due to the pandemic conditions where feelings of frustration, anxiety, stress, financial concerns, and family and relationship issues are being pushed to their limits. People unfortunately think that using alcohol is a way of managing or dealing with emotional concerns and life issues, but this can easily spiral into addiction and leads down the path to some people losing control of their use of alcohol.

I see addiction as something that is subtly progressive and is sometimes a fatal condition. If loss of control has been established, then addiction can remain for life and is only halted by complete abstinence and on-going psychological and emotional work. This can be a scary prospect for people to come to terms with and often people will desperately try to find ways to control their drinking without success. At this point in someone’s active addiction, the person can only begin to seek recovery and freedom by recognising and admitting to their loss of control.

Recovery is totally possible though!

When someone seeks help and comes for therapy to address their alcohol misuse I consider this a brave and courageous thing to do. It’s really tough! What primarily interests me as a therapist is: has this person lost control? What is fuelling that person’s alcohol use? Addiction requires fuel to keep it going. So what is that fuel? Alcohol use can be a way of avoiding or denying the pain or truth of something? In this light, addiction could be seen as a signal of something much deeper than someone’s alcohol use.

But there is hope! 

Therapy can offer a way for someone to explore and combat their alcohol use or any addiction, and to find recovery and an entirely new way of life.

Recovery is about reconnecting with relationships and the world and also re-discovering and understanding yourself better. It’s having the opportunity to work through what may be troubling you underneath. This begins a journey of healing and transformation. This is not an easy path and takes honesty, willingness, open-mindedness and a commitment to change. I would encourage anyone out there who is fighting with alcohol or any addiction to get help as there is a way out, and you are not on your own.

In this moment in time, I believe we all have a rare piece of time to learn how to help ourselves and work through feelings of anxiety, fear, frustration, uncertainty and an unknown future. Just because we can't see something doesn't mean it's going to be bad. It can just feel that way.

There is potential for working towards a place of acceptance that we are all not in control of our environment and situations. By letting go of control we can find some freedom and this creates an opportunity to stop and truly reflect on where you are in life. What is really important to you? Take a look around you. What do you really see? Find some gratitude for what you have around you and the relationships you have. You have far more than you may realise but may be stopped seeing it, or have taken it for granted with our fast-paced style of living.

I believe that there is a life within and beyond the lockdown and pandemic so what is it that could help you through this in a healthy way, and make you happier? You could decide to make changes in your life that otherwise may not have happened. This is where we take the positive out of a negative situation. We all have the capacity to thrive given the right conditions. We just have to adapt right now and work with whatever happens. 

We are never truly in control of our lives; we just create ways to give ourselves the illusion that we are. This takes a lot of time, effort and energy and it doesn't have to be like this

A change in mind set, attitude, perspective, letting go of control, and starting to see what life can look like through a different set of eyes can bring hope, freedom, safety, curiosity and acceptance.

This feels like a much better place to be.

This article was written by Leon Standing, a therapist with The Palmeira Practice who specialises in working with addiction. For further information and to get help, contact Leon and book an introductory session.